Warning signs

• First warning signs:

  • When you are with her, her partner uses any story to ridicule her.
  • When, once you're alone with her, you ask her how her relationship is going and she changes the subject.
  • When you note she doesn’t want to meet up so often and when you arrange something she doesn't turn up for it or she has to leave soon after.
  • When every time she receives a WhatsApp from her partner she has to reply immediately, telling him where she is and who she is with.
  • When she is always adapting herself to her partner’s tastes and it looks like she is changing her own.
  • When you see she is always trying to please her partner.

• To be more alert:

  • When he has broken things that are of value to her.
  • When you hear him threatening her or she tells you herself how he threatens her.
  • When you see her sad, with an unhappy face, or her character has changed.
  • When you notice that she gets scared when she believes something might annoy him.

• What attitude can help?

  • Listening to what she tells you and don’t doubt it. It’s important you respect her time and let her speak her own words and thank her for her trust.
  • Controlling the anger you may feel when you find out about her situation.
  • Let her know she doesn’t deserve what’s happening to her and that you’re ready to help.
  • Respecting the decisions she takes.
  • Offering to meet up a little bit more.
  • Asking advice from specialist staff.
  • Encouraging her to talk about it with someone she trusts in her family.
  • Persevering and staying in contact with and talking to her, not giving up but understanding that it's a long process of ups and downs.
  • Never forcing her to report her partner to the police or separate from him. She might not be ready for that.